How
do you correct your child when they have done something wrong or an employee
who has made a dreadful blunder on a crucial project? Often our emotions get
the better of us, we pull out all the words we can muster and lash out at them.
“How could you be such an idiot?” If we just stopped and thought for a moment about
the effect our words would have on those we are speaking to, I am sure we would
use a little more self control and choose a different attitude and different
words and probably get a different or better result.
We
have heard the saying, “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will
never harm me”. A few blogs ago we mentioned that that is one of the biggest
lies we’ve passed on for generations. Words
are powerful and can either build, or destroy, encourage or cause permanent damage
to peoples’ souls. Divorces happen, families are destroyed and wars are caused,
often just by the words that people have said.
There
are many positive ways to mentor, coach and correct people, without destroying
their self worth. One of the best ways I have found to do this is to focus on the
person’s positive attributes. It is better to start of with, ‘I know you are
better than that…’, ‘you can do better
than that…’, ‘the next time you find yourself in this situation you are going
to be exceptional, you are going to do it just the way I have trained you’.
Reformers
see the good in other people, as well as helping people see value in themselves.
As we increase the self esteem of those around us, we all become stronger. As a
reformer, one of your responsibilities is to build the people around you,
encourage them to see what needs to be transformed in your company, community
or country. Next time you need to bring correction, remember to build that
person’s self esteem, and hopefully in so doing, help bring reformation to that
situation.
